Adventures in Anxiety: How to travel when you have an anxiety disorder? Part II
Once I could step into a good mindset where I wanted to travel (all detailed in last week’s post, Part I), I had to learn how to travel all over again to do it in a way that helped me manage my anxiety. That has meant making some very practical changes and getting clear on what works and what doesn’t for me. Sometimes I’ll make exceptions if a destination is very important to me, but these new guidelines for travel have served me very well in the past few years.
So with no further ado, here are some of the things I’ve done that have helped the most:
Routinize, routinize, routinize. The more regular I can make my travel the better. That means that traveling to a regular destination — say, the Bay Area — is very straightforward. I love to optimize travel, coming up with the best way to get from A to B. I find that fun — I’m a nerd like that. I know what seats I like best on all the flights I take (I know way, way too much about rows on Alaska Airlines planes) or which rooms are quietest in my favorite hotels. It also helps to pack the same things (or at least things in the same categories — say, cardigans, dresses, and flats) trip after trip.
This is true of my traveling even when it’s for pleasure instead of business. I used to have a lot of anxiety when we flew from Seattle to Europe, but I’ve take the British Airways flight a few times a year for the past five, and now it’s become a routine (I’ve memorized those seats too. I have a lot of knowledge that is only useful if they create Travel Jeopardy!).
In short, when you take the same flights, stay in the same hotels, rent the car from the same place, go to the same restaurants, etc. you can create safety for yourself when you need it (and, when you feel like it, you can try something new!). There are enough other variations during travel that I’ve found it useful to smooth out the other peaks and valleys.
Pick flights that are convenient to YOU. I don’t know how my Seattle-based colleagues do a one-day trip to San Francisco. You have to get up between 3 and 4 to get to the airport for the 6am flight, and then if you take the late flight home, you don’t land until 10:30pm. If you can do this, you are a badass.
I do not do this.
I am generally anxious when I have to take very early flights because it throws off all of my routines. I try not to take a flight before 10am unless it’s my only option — and if I do have to take a very early flight, I’ll move my sleep schedule earlier the week leading up to the trip so I have more time for my normal morning routine. Sometimes due to the destination or the flight cost you have to take a suboptimal flight, but with some adjustments beforehand you can make it a bit easier for yourself.
I am one of those people who likes to fly in the night before, grab dinner, and situate everything for the week ahead the night before. This is a Power Hour of sorts where I turn on cable TV, iron all my clothes, unpack my suitcase, etc. It sets me up for success so that I can maximize time for sleep and self-care. In short, it sets me up for success.
Here’s what it really means, though — if I’m not at my best I cannot give my best, whether it is for work or for play. In the grand scheme of things, an extra $30 or $50 for a more convenient flight can go a long way, if it is something that you are able to afford.
Prioritize self-care. I am uncompromising when it comes to self-care on the road. I calendar my gym sessions just like I do at home, and if it comes to a choice of burning off stress at the gym or going out with people from work, I always choose the former. It helps to get clear on what is required and what is optional, and if things that are required don’t feel right to me, I speak up.
The biggest lesson I keep relearning is that working here is a marathon, not a sprint. I can’t run a marathon at a sprinter’s pace. There will always be another time to catch up, another dinner, another whatever.
If I have a day or two of intense facilitation, I make sure to build in time for rest afterwards. If I have to check email, I set a timer for 15–20 minutes so I don’t get sucked into the vortex. Or, if I’m at my favorite hotel (Four Seasons Palo Alto!), I’ll treat myself to a massage.
I can get through a week of travel without much self-care. It’s when I have two, three, or four weeks back-to-back that it’s critical that I stick to self-care. This will probably feel familiar to you if you travel for work like I do. Rather than changing my habits, I just stick to good habits whenever I’m on the road — it becomes the way I do things.
Pack snacks. Around the time that I started experiencing major anxiety I also developed a fear that I wouldn’t have enough food. Part of this was tied to the nausea I felt when I was trying out different medications in the first year — and to this day I can’t take my medications on an empty stomach without feeling ill. I also have a lot of food sensitivities (I’m lactose-intolerant, sensitive to eggs and soy, and follow a low FODMAP diet). The joy of food restrictions has compounded my food scarcity fears.
From a well-being standpoint, I always pack food because airports and hotel rooms don’t have the best of options. I’ll pack some food with me and stop by a local health-food store to grab more. Traveling abroad makes this trickier, but I still want one healthy snack per day in my bag in case I don’t find something locally (two things that travel well but are small that I bring on international trips are Kind Bars and Justin’s Peanut Butter single-serve pouches). Keeping my blood sugar steady helps me stay in a better state of mind and helps me deal with spikes of anxiety.
Dress to minimize discomfort. I didn’t come to this realization until I read an article on The Mighty about how uncomfortable clothes might impact people with chronic disorders, especially highly-sensitive people (HSPs, of which I am one). There is nothing more aggravating than wearing skinny jeans on a plane for six hours. Heat and constriction are anxiety triggers so I make sure my tried-and-tested clothes come with me on the road. Dresses are the most comfortable and are easy to pack, and sweaters and scarves make good layering options. If I’m wearing pants, they are probably made from ponte — they feel like yoga pants but look like dress pants. I’ll share some of my favorite travel products in a post next year.
Bring the familiar with you. I sleep much better on my own pillow than anything I find in a hotel. Likewise, I get a lot of joy thinking about a favorite book that is waiting for me at my hotel or booting up my tablet to watch that movie that I’ve been eyeing for weeks. Whatever makes a hotel feel like home should be in your suitcase every time. Have something comforting waiting for you and you might feel a bit less anxious.
Acquaint yourself with your emergency exits. I feel much more comfortable when I know where my exits are, both literally and metaphorically. When I get catastrophic thoughts, I like to remind myself of the resources that I have. When I travel, where is an urgent care or hospital, should I need one? If I’m in another country, what is there emergency code? In short, if something went wrong, I have a plan. I feel fortunate that I haven’t made many of these visits but it eases my overactive mind to know my options.
Well.
You might be reading this and think to yourself, “Sarah, this sounds exhausting.” There was a large start-up cost when I started traveling again in earnest. Yes, it might feel overwhelming when you read this and think about traveling with anxiety. And the truth is that it can be tiring and it can feel like a lot.
However, when it came to shrinking my world or expanding it I decided some time ago that these sacrifices would be worth it. And these adaptions can be rolled out one at a time — it took me a year or two to get where I am today. It’s taught me to be more optimistic because I can travel as much as I do and stay mentally and physically healthy. The other option — not traveling — is not an option for me. I want to see the world and that means finding what it takes to do that in a sustainable way. And if you want to see the world, you can do it too.
Cheers, Sarah
P.S. Next week I’ll be back with some reflections on how to make it through the holiday season while managing your anxiety. I’ll share both how I stay in a good mindset while setting boundaries, and give you some tips on how I have an Introverted Christmas. I hope you’ll join me for a jolly end-of-year Adventures in Anxiety post!
