Paris and Rome 2023
It’s been a good long while since I popped on here to share anything about books and/or life, but when life gets busy I tend to get quiet. As any of your in corporate life know, the first quarter comes in like a lion with everyone ready to do All The Things as quickly as possible.
But stepping back in time to last fall, I wanted to share two special trips that Sergio and I took in 2023. Coming into 2020 we had talked about our desires to take our parents on bigger trips — rather than looking back with regret when they were at an age when traveling was more challenging, we wanted to prioritize these trips.
One global pandemic and more than three years later, we finally made good on these plans at the end of 2023 — a trip to Paris and Rome with Sergio’s parents and sister, and a separate trip to to Prague, Dresden, and Berlin with my parents and my brother.
Anyone who knows me at all knows I’m itchy and somewhat twitchy if I don’t have a trip planned, but a multi-generational trip was something a bit different for me. Today I’ll share some highlights and what I learned from our first trip with the Ricos to Paris and Rome, but if you don’t make it any further than this, remember that planning — along with realistic expectations — are your best friend.
Alors…
I have nothing but love for Paris — and I’m talking about pre-influencer Paris, but the Paris of 2023 is far different than my first trip to the City of Light in 2008. Back then we carefully held onto our museum passes as they were stamped one by one, made sure we had enough euros for everything, and bought packs of tiny paper tickets to use the Metro.
NO MORE MY FRIENDS, NO MORE. If you expect to show up and walk into anything, you shall spend your vacation in lines. It’s not that Paris hasn’t always been this beautiful or popular, but that international travel is more accessible to more people than ever! This is amazing, but is particularly tricky if you’re going to tour Paris with people who aren’t ready to run to and fro, this is where your planning has to start.
After spending some time re-familiarizing myself through the prolific works of St. Rick Steves, we implemented one of my favorite travel strategies when traveling in a group, What’s Your One Thing? It’s exactly what it sounds like — what is the one thing in this particular city that you must do, that thing you’d regret skipping? Prioritization is critical on any big city trip, but when you’re considering different physical abilities or budgets, this is the best way to include the most-desired spot for each traveler (no-vetos!).
[Mine tends to be some sort of museum or cultural site because I AM ME and I could spend an entire vacation doing three museums a day and then reading alone in a hotel room at night but again, that’s just me!]
The great news? Paris has so many lovely sites and many of them don’t suffer from a repeat visit. We also tend to have similar travel preferences — none of us were there for the nightlife or the boutique shopping or Michelin restaurants. That made it rather simple to make sure that Sergio made it to Versailles and I got (another) visit to the Rodin Museum, which really and truly is my favorite in Paris while my sister-in-law got her show at Moulin Rouge.
With your initial list of sites, I recommend putting together a shared Google Map with all of the possibilities. This is important for any trip, but we found it especially necessary for traveling with our parents (all in their 70s) to minimize the amount of walking or number of Metro transfers. This allows you to make a call on what sorts of transport make sense for a particular city.
If it is accessible to you — and let’s be honest, a lot of it isn’t — the Metro is the best way to get around Paris (get a Navigo pass with a photo — it took us 45 minutes to figure it out but I was proud that we did it!). However, it’s full of steps with many stations lacking elevators or escalators. We lucked out in that we were able to make it work — barely. The traffic in Paris can be really horrific but we did use Uber when needed instead of walking (my personal preference) to make sure that we were pacing ourselves as a group.
Thank you, Internet, for making it easy to add restaurants to our shared map as well. If you spend more time than expected in a museum, it’s tempting to stop into the nearest cafe to eat. However, a little bit of research gave us multiple options to make sure we could find different types of cuisine to try (and was helpful for me given my dietary restrictions). We also split up at times to try different spots, especially when we had differing levels of hunger (Sergio and I tend to eat 3 American Square Meals and the rest of the family follows the Latin country cadence of breakfast, late large lunch, and small or no dinner).
Another set of activities that is great for senior travelers would be bus, boat, or (in Rome) golf cart tours! These maximize the sites you can see while seated, and, if done early in your time in a city, provide a good overview. I did a lot of research to pick a good boat tour in Paris and a golf cart tour in Rome because some of these companies really cater to the unprepared, which could mean more time in lines and possibly a sub-par experience.
Random isn’t a good plan for big European cities these days — you’ll need a reservation for major sites like the Louvre or the Eiffel Tower (which we missed — oops!) or you’ll stand in a long, long, long, long line, or just be completely out-of-luck. The Paris Museum Pass helps get you into many sites, but separate entry reservations are often required. In Paris, big sites also mean security lines and possibly restrictions on bags that you can bring with you. This is where a Rick Steves guide comes in handy — you can learn which entrance is fastest at the Louvre or how to see St Chapelle before the security line is too long.
What we ended up with was a great blend of structure and flexibility. We planned one key event each day (eg; a museum, a tour, a day-trip) and a meal together. This was usually in the morning, as getting to an attraction first thing can mean a shorter security line (sometimes). Because our hotel had a great breakfast buffet, it was easy to get up, grab something to eat, and get out off the door by 8:30 or 9:00. This generally resulted in a lunch around 1pm, which created a natural breaking point. Folks could rest or nap at the hotel, or we could go to other interesting sites or shop in the neighborhood. This left time to find souvenirs, try desserts, or find another Engligh language bookstore (hi, it’s me) or even just walk through a church or a park. It also means you’ll stop by secondary sites and get to know them well — whether it’s the very under-rated church of St. Sulpice, the Paris Zoo, the Conciergie, or Napoleon’s Tomb (aka three miles of walking that looks like three blocks — whoops!).
Paris is much easier if you can speak some French — and as the only sort-of French speaker on the trip, I was the one who stepped in if no-one spoke English. I find the French to be generally kind and helpful if you are polite (not a loud American) and are respectful. This means saying bonjour when you enter, asking before you handle produce at a market, etc. These are actually very simple things to do — any good guidebook can help you! — that show respect and create goodwill for an interaction. Most people in France can speak some English (or are completely fluent) and are generally willing to switch to English if you graciously ask, Parlez-vous Anglais, s’il vous plait? That being said, I knew enough that when we did encounter people who didn’t speak English that we were able to get by in French (think of immigrants who are newly-learning French to make their way in the country). I think with joy about a lovely woman who cooked us the best meal in France in a tiny kitchen in a market who spoke French and Arabic — so my sad French got us through it! It’s one of my favorite memories of the trip because you don’t need that many words to share a connection with someone else. Don’t always believe the hype — start by asking yourself how you can adapt to get the best experience and go from there.
But before too long, it was time to travel to Rome. After researching options the most cost effective — balanced with the amount of time — was to fly. All I will say is this — coach seats on ITA are punishingly small and you always need an extra hour in CDG, no matter how fast you think it will be.
So, let’s keep this honest. Italy is my least favorite country in Europe.
It’s closely followed by Spain (super surprising given that I visited it with a Spanish speaker, but it was the wrong type of Spanish, the Latin-American variety…), but I wanted to give Rome another good try. I know so many folks who love it and it’s full of incredibly history and museums, which is perfect for me. Our previous visit was in December, which was a little bit less engaging — and we also struck out the food. I also had travel companions that were incredibly excited for Rome, so I wanted them to enjoy it too.
Those fantastic planning skills I mentioned above? These were even more critical for Rome because holy crap was the city overrun with tourists in the second week of October and why is everyone doing a TikTok dance in front of the Colosseum? Given all of this, it’s much more important to prioritize your sightseeing and get creative with your entrance times and to make sure that you have enough shade, water, and rest for everyone, not just the elderly. There’s nothing like sweating through your entire outfit, right?
For some reason, some of the sites like the Colosseum or the Vatican Museums make it nearly impossible to get in without either buying a combo-ticket (which might include a site that you don’t want or an included meal you don’t want to eat) or joining a “follow-the-flag” tour. This was completely different than our visit six years ago, and it’s the absolutely worst. Most tickets are sold to resellars who maximize profit with these upsells, and even if you tried you’re not able to get these other tickets.
As a planner and an independent thinker I found this incredibly irritating and it felt to me like we had less flexibility! We had to check in more than 30 minutes early for a tour-guide who did a really poor job with the Colosseum, and without a combo ticket for a lunch we didn’t eat, we wouldn’t have been able to see the Vatican Museums or the Sistine Chapel (so you’re welcome, Pope Francis, for the extra donation to your country). Even with my months-ahead planning, we couldn’t get tickets for the Roman Forum — but in fairness, I was probably the most disappointed about that.
My favorite site this visit was the Capitoline Museum that overlooks the Forum and the Colosseum. Sergio and I hadn’t visited it on our first trip so this was my choice for my One Thing. We did it on the hottest day as some (but not all) of the rooms were air conditioned. With incredible art, architecture, sculpture, and views, it was almost tourist-free and quite enjoyable. The tablet guides were essential as none of us spoke Italian — and it was pure luck if you encountered someone who was fluent-ish in English. We also benefitted from an incredible cab driver who drove us around the back way so our older travel companions didn’t have to climb one thousand stairs to the top of the hill. I did appreciate the care and respect for elders that I noticed throughout the trip.
Central Rome is a rather compact, flat and walkable — minus temperates in the 80s and 90s and no real breeze to speak of. Another challenge to keep in mind if you are traveling with older people is that there is almost nowhere to sit down in public in Rome, and if you sit on the steps someone will come and angrily ask you to stand up. I’ve never been to museums where the only place you can really sit down is on a toilet when you need to use the restroom. Perhaps this is a reason so many people sit down in the church pews to rest aching legs and pray for a break!
The Metro is very limited so we used cabs to get around most days. Though they are in theory quite reasonable, we were overcharged more than once — even official cabs “forget” to run the meter. Because we usually had to take two cabs as we were five people, it was extremely obvious that a six to ten euro price difference in cabs that departed from and arrived at the same place one minute apart from each other were not on the up-and-up. Travel means getting ripped off sometimes, and thankfully this was the extent of it (or perhaps a slight mark-up on a dinner). We were very careful with our money and passports, especially in crowded areas, and we stayed in safe areas of the city. This is important for everyone, no matter your age, to be aware of your surroundings and know how to ask for help if you need it.
That’s not to say we didn’t have great cab experiences either — like this man who took all of us at once, or the gentle man who drove us from our hotel to the Vatican Museums, chit-chatting nonstop in Italian, but then, at a stoplight, holding out his hand to me and saying in perfect American English, “Hi, I’m Bob” and then right back to the Italian for the rest of the ride. Bob was good people.
These delightful local encounters are the ones I’ll remember the most, whether the accommodating and helpful staff at Hotel Lancelot, the wonderful woman who led our market tasting tour, or the staff at one of the cat sanctuaries who knew cat people when they saw them and let us get our feline fix, if only for thirty minutes. We were lucky to travel with two extroverts, and my beautiful and kind sister-in-law was made for the Italian joviality and spirit! Sometimes you envy those characteristics that are so natural for some people, but not for you.
Here’s the other part of a family trip that you can’t overlook — making space for alone time or couples time. As the most introverted person on the trip, I knew I’d do better if I built in some time for rest and relaxation. I chose not to go on a day-trip that Sergio planned for Orvieto — which was a wild success! — and instead visited a nearby church, had a long lunch, and napped and rested in our hotel. A part of planning is also understanding what each person needs from an energy standpoint. Do people need a midday rest or an extra hour to wind-down at night? Or do you do best with a morning coffee along before everyone else tromps into the breakfast room? Take that into account too — speak up for what you need to manage your energy and refrain from judging the energy or rest needs of your fellow travelers. We are all at our best when we can tap into the ways that we relax and recharge, whatever they are.
I do love trying local cuisine, so I made a point of getting deeper into restaurant research and we did find some real gems, from a wine bar across the street from stores that sold habits and candlesticks to a tiny neighborhood trattoria with the best truffle pasta I’ve ever had in my life. We splurged for one of Rome’s nicest old-school restaurant, complete with an incredibly kind waiter who teased and joked but provided best-in-class service and a whole plate of butter on request.
It was joyful to see these places through the eyes of Sergio and his family and to see them again in a different light for myself. I’m not naturally meant for Italy, I don’t think, but with a more positive frame of mind there were lovely things that I missed the first time around. And when you try different experiences and talk to locals, you can see a place through their experiences too.
The massive drawback to Rome was the hoards of tourists more interested in a dance or a pose in front of a fountain than learning about the two thousand years of history, culture, and all that happened in this place. It’s ROME! I wanted to yell at these folks who occupied whole sidewalks such that one had to step into traffic in the street to walk around them. This stupid sort of tourism that’s taking over places like Dubrovnik, Amsterdam, Venice, or Barcelona, not to mention the crush in smaller towns like Hallstatt, Bruges, or Porto. Of course everyone can want a photo to say, “Hey, I went to [insert cool place]!” You’ve been looking at our photos of amazing places that we visited throughout this entire blog.
But is that the attraction — just going there? Isn’t it more interesting to see the Chains of St. Peter or The School of Athens or Trajan’s Column? I’ll get down off of my cranky old person soapbox in a moment, but c’mon folks! You can sample great gelato and check out some art; you can get a cute photo at the Forum and see the temples. We are lucky enough to live at a time when we know more than ever about those who came before us and we’re lucky enough to have technology to help these sites come alive. There is a world behind a screen — so if you just want to hang out with your phone, give everyone else a break and perhaps stay home.
Where did I land with Italy? This second trip was certainly more enjoyable than the first because of my travel companions… and I think I’m good for now. We’ve visited about half of Europe’s countries, so I’m ready to see some of those first before another loop back to Italy.
But… all-in-all, this was a fantastic trip with all sorts of experiences where we lucked out with hotels and made do with the unseasonably warm weather. The planning truly made it easier to adapt to different travel preferences and needs, and I’d say the trip was a smashing success.
And now the plot twist. Because travel doesn’t always go as expected, does it?
We had all packed and were ready for our flights back home to the United States and Mexico, respectively. We had to be out of the hotel by 5:30am to catch our flight to London to transfer for our flight home and the rest of the Ricos had an 11:30pm flight back to Mexico. I woke up in a cold sweat at one in the morning and proceeded to be violently ill for hours and hours. I am so, so, so sorry to all of the poor people on our floor who had to listen to all of… that, but I was that special kind of sick where my only thought was don’t die don’t die don’t die. Sergio went down to the front desk in the wee morning hours and managed to keep our room for an extra day and change our flights with British Airways to the following day. I don’t remember much of it, but my body was shaking so hard with chills that my intercostal muscles ached for days afterwards.
This is probably a story for another blog, but I’m unfortunately much more of an expert on getting food poisoning despite how careful I tend to be with what I eat and drink. That is an unfortunate part of having an inflammatory bowel disease, but I’ve learned a lot through these experiences, and in the future I’ll find a non-gross, non-graphic way to share my recovery protocol.
I was very lucky to be traveling with a doctor (my father-in-law) and a nurse (my mother-in-law) and they have the world’s most tricked-out travel medicine kit that they opened to us. They were differently unlucky with their own flight delays (a late-night flight pushed eight or nine hours later into the morning)! Thankfully our second attempts at departure worked — we flew home without incident (and, in my case, with basically no food) and though it was a wee-hours-of-the-morning connection in Mexico City, the rest of the Ricos made it home too.
What would I leave you with from this trip? Do it. Take the trip and don’t wait. Make the best of what you have now because none of us are guaranteed good health into the future. In our case, all of the planning ahead of time made the trip much easier and removed a lot of mental load while we were there and gave us time to really connect and experience these places together. Whether it’s Rome or Paris, resting on a beach, climbing a mountain, or taking a cruise, you and your family are worth that time together. I hope you take it with those you love.
Au revoir, S
P.S. See you soon with a Jan/February book review and then (hopefully) another blog about our travels to Prague, Dresden, and Berlin with my family— our first European Christmas!
